About three months ago I started a new hobby - indoor bouldering. It's climbing on a rock wall without a harness to a height of 12-15 feet. Don't worry, there are pads below you and if you fall you shouldn't get hurt. I haven't yet, minus some cuts and tears on my "office hands." Soon, I will have tough climber hands though!
Last week, I was climbing at the gym and working on a problem (in bouldering, they call the aspects of different routes you climb problems). The problem I was working on involved jumping from two smaller holds two one somewhat rounded hold on the wall. It was a big move for me, at my current climbing skills. The first time I tried I barely touched the hold I was going for and fell to the mat. The same thing happened the second time. Then, I started to get a hand on it. Then, I started to get a hand on it, hold it for a second and then fall.
This went on for about an hour and a half until finally, I hit it. I hit the move and was able to finish moving up the wall. It was awesome! I was pumped up! The people I was climbing with were pumped up and cheered when I finally solved the problem.
Climbing, I am learning, is all about making micro adjustments. I probably made dozens of micro adjustments as I worked through the problem until, finally I was able to solve it.
Even though I had failed to hit the move so many times I was still so excited when I finally did, thanks to all the micro adjustments I was making each time I tried.
I believe that walking with Jesus is similar, but for whatever reason we don't treat our spiritual walk the same way. We expect of ourselves to just get it in one big move and we either give up or stop trying when we don't. We've convinced ourselves that we must solve this problem on the first try. I don't know why we have this mindset because when I read the Bible I see stories of people with great faith making micro adjustments as they learn to walk hand in hand with the Creator. So many champions of faith fell and hit the mat again and again, but they kept trying, kept running the race, kept climbing.
You might be a few micro adjustments away from breaking that porn habit or being a better communicator. You might just need to make a few more micro adjustments to be more patient, kind, loving, etc.
So what if you've hit the mat the last 30 times you've tried? Keep making those micro adjustments. Keep asking your heavenly Father to give you the strength to make those adjustments. Keep trying and soon you'll be further up on the wall. Keep going!